Suga, suga

image from Raya Carlisle Photography

Hey honey, honey....

You are my Candy Girl!

Oh Sugar! Why are you like crack! Why am I having withdrawals from you!

For real. All I want is sugar. And how fitting is it that tomorrow is Halloween, an entire holiday (if you'd like to call it that) devoted to spooks and sugar.

PALEO GODS KEEP ME STRONG!

Paleo is going well. It's still pretty hard most of the time, but I've successfully kept off five pounds in a little over a week, so that's pretty good. For those of you just joining the game, on Wednesday October 21, I decided to go cold turkey Paleo. (Paleo = No grains, No Dairy, No Sugar) It's true that I've had two cheat meals, both including one serving of grains and one serving of dairy. The funny part was, after each of those cheat meals, I gained a pound (or after one of them, TWO). Obviously our weight goes up and down every day depending on how much food we have that is digesting, and how much water we have.

But, I find it very interesting that my body holds on to wheat like nothing I've ever seen to try to gain weight. So, it was a very strict Monday though Friday but I've managed to knock back down the wheat-weight gain from last weekend, making my weight five pounds lighter than when I started Paleo-ing.

I made some killer paleo muffins, which aren't 100% paleo because they have Baking Powder in them, and honey in them (yes, honey is a type of sugar) but I'm treating them like a 'transition' paleo food. They are pretty good! They aren't too unsweet (I know, I know. I want sweet sugar foods so I was worried these would taste like cardboard) and have a lot of fat from the coconut, so they really satisfy. Want the recipe? I thought so.

Coconut Paleo Muffins

1 cup almond flour (I have a hard time finding it in the grocery, so I make it with a food processor and raw almonds)
1/2 cup whole ground flaxseed meal (I like Bob's Red Mill)
1/2 cup shredded unsweetened coconut
1 tsp of baking powder
2 eggs
1/4 cup maple syrup or honey (I used Royal Jelly)
1 1/2 tsp coconut extract (if you don't have it, just skip it)
1 tsp vanilla extract
1/8 tsp salt
2 tbsp coconut oil

Preheat Oven to 350

Mix together all ingredients until smooth. (really. it's that easy.)

Pour into 6 muffin cups greased with coconut oil and bake for 15-20 minutes.

Recipe adapted from Eating Stella Style by George Stella.

Mmmm, mmm honey. Your kitchen will smell divine when these babies are done baking. Don't worry about making a double batch, they will go bad in six days and you don't want to eat more than one in a day, so why waste those precious ingredients?

I stored mine at room temperature, but I'm going to try to refrigerate them this time because when I made them last week they started going bad sooner than they should.

For a real treat, pour or spread (depending on what temperature you keep your coconut oil) a little bit of coconut oil on top as 'frosting'. Trust me, with all of the good fat from the coconut oil and the heaviness of flax and almond, it won't be so hard saying no to seconds.

See? When we are eating real food, our bodies get real with us. They say, 'that's enough' when it is.

Go Paleo! You're hard sometimes, but you will be worth it!

For those of you wanting a little more explanation of why being Paleo is a good thing, check out this.

Happy Haunting!

Martha oh Martha

While I continue to stall on my weight loss (even now eating Paleo.) I found something that my inner craft goddess went wild for.....online Martha Stewart Crafts archives.

There are so many wonderful DIY ideas for weddings, entertaining and the like.

How about these cute little Doily Tins?

Or this festive banner?

I think I'm going to make some for our Halloween Party this weekend. Can't you just see some orange, red and yellow circles that say, "BOO!" or "HAPPY HAUNTING"

Martha. How can I grow up to be you?

Love,
me

Paleo day six

Today is my sixth day of paleo. I can't say it has been easy, but I can say it hasn't been too bad. I can also say that I've lost four pounds, in less than a week, which is pretty awesome.

The weekend was much harder than the week day. I had a cast party on friday where I had a piece of pie, some cheese, wine and a piece of homemade bread. I didn't OD, but I didn't restrict. That's what life is about, right? I did pay for it in the middle of the night, and felt like I had a food hangover the next day. It's so weird and amazing how quickly our bodies adapt to the type of food we put in it.

The other thing that was pretty amazing was that my (terrible) cold is doing considerably better almost gone in fact. I'm feeling so much better that I'm going to go to a class tonight at my gym. Here's to hoping I don't get worse!

Something I've been thinking about a lot lately is the affects of my birth control pill on my overall well being and weight. I've been able to loose weight on the pill, but my body wants to hover at 140. It fights to be at that weight. I have to work very very hard to be 135 and if I relax at all, it will shoot right back up to 139 in a matter of days.

Have any of you had this problem? I know it's common on the pill, but I'm a little afraid to go off. What do you think?

4:00 = Banana Time

I'm doing pretty well eating paleo today, but once 4:00 hit, I needed some calories. Thank-you banana. I'm going to have a iPhone photo menu for your tomorrow of all the foods I ate today, and how to try a day eating paleo yourself.

I feel good though! Level headed, and dare I say more peaceful. I live in Boston, and drove like I was in Yoga class today. Thank-you real food? We'll see where that one takes us.

Anyway, I just read an incredible blog post that I must share with you about clean eating and 'cheat' meals. Check it out!

Violet MInts

I have a deep appreciation for the "finer things" in life, however one might define that. But not because I want to be pompous, just because I really enjoy it. Like classical music, not cheesy overplayed classical music, although I'm sure it was great before it was overplayed, but in general I love classical music. Or good cheese. Really good Cheese. Or french patisseries. Or Violet Mints. The list goes on.

Last night, I was feeling a bit frustrated with the food surplus we experience here in America. And how we have so much food that we can choose to eat however we want, whenever we want (mostly). And how we are one of the unhealthiest cultures in the world. What is up with that! So, being a landmark forum veteran, I used the mindset taught at landmark:

You can create any lifestyle you desire by choosing the possibility of now.

(my interpretation)

So, I decided to do just that. I've been wanting to try eating a Paleo Diet for quite a while, so I thought, okay. How about I try it right now? I've done a colon cleanse in the past, which essentially pairs herbal, pro biotic and a paleo diet mixed with high fiber drinks to flush the body. I remember feeling a-m-a-z-i-n-g during this part of my life. I lost weight (without intending to or really tracking it) cleansing, and I've also lost weight on the following methods:

-Eating a 1200 calorie a day diet combined with exercise
-The Zone Diet
-Weight Watchers (which should be called Watch Yourself Lose Weight Very Slowly)
-Cutting out Refined Carbohydrates

Although I appreciated learning about how much I was eating from programs that 'tracked' how much I was eating (1200cals, Zone, WW) I felt the most freedom while simply cutting out refined carbs. It was hard to do, but the reason it worked is because I was very persistent about not letting any 'no' foods into my diet. Not once a week, not ever. Like no cheating. It wasn't an option. There were no refined carbohydrates in my diet at that point. (I do admit to eating many bananas with peanut butter when I was stressed)

Coming back to the point: I find the most freedom when my entire eating lifestyle has rules. So I'm Paleo now. Starting this morning. Continuing at lunch. Each and every meal I have to create a Paleo lifestyle for myself.I had two eggs fried in a bit of olive oil and a bowl of wild Maine blueberries (actually from Maine, last week....ahhhh the finer things) . I'm not sure what I'm going to eat for lunch, but that doesn't really matter. I just know that it has to follow Paleo rules. I can eat however much I want as long as I'm following the rules.

I was feeling pretty excited about it until I sat down at my desk to write this. You know what looked me in the eye and laughed at me? The violet mints. Oh yeah, they have sugar. That's against the Paleo rules. Saddddd face.

Maybe I can just go find some violets to eat?

in sickness....

I hate being sick. I tend to get colds and sinus infections a lot (probably five to eight per year) and hate not being able to breathe at night, the gunk that comes out of your head for weeks, the low energy blah blah blah...but the thing I hate most about being sick?

Not being able to work out.

Then, I realized, that Americans are one of the only cultures that spend time 'working out' in the gym. Most other civilizations just eat moderately and live an active lifestyle.

Humm. Anyone else want to ditch their gym routine this week and just focus on enjoying a small and sensible amount of food? Anyone else up for a walk in the foliage?

Let's do it!

Oh there you are wedding

I found my wedding yesterday.Oh, it happened to also be the amazing Jessica Claire's workshop set. But, you know. It was mine first. In my dreams.


my wedding will look like this.


Made it to the gym this AM. WOOT!

My workout:

5 rounds for time of:

-Sprint 400
-10 push ups (real deal ladies, no knees down)
-10 sit ups (no crunches...I tend to lazy out on crunches)

I got 16 minutes. I really need to work on my speed. I was running 7mph for each sprint (on the treadmill) and felt like I couldn't go much faster, but that's only like a 9 minute mile. One day at a time!

What was your workout today?

What do you love about your body?

Someone (er...rather maybe someblog) recently posed a great question:

What is the reason you get up in the morning?

Ok. So I've heard that before, but still. I'd always related it to your big picture life's passions and desires. Like, oh yes, I love my job or volunteering at a homeless shelter and that's why I get up in the morning....kittens and rainbows! I started thinking more literally.....why do I get up in the morning? What's going though my head?

I can say it used to be for food. Literally. At my heaviest weight I literally had the desire to wake up and eat corn syrup...well, any food like product with corn syrup. I wanted to get up and eat breakfast! And then lunch! And then snack! And then dinner!

Now, I answer the question with a different lens. Now morning is a new opportunity to be something great. A new day to make better decisions. A fresh take on who I want to be, and how I'm going to create myself though every decision into the person I want to be...which is...well...skinny. So ultimately, I realized that when I was heavy I wanted food....and now that I'm thinner, I don't want food....so I can get thinner. Isn't that a little off? I mean, it makes sense and all, but why is body image the first thing I think about after 'uuuughhh it's morning?" each time my alarm goes off? Isn't that a little troubling?

Yes. I think so. We are supposed to enjoy our bodies and feel fantastic, but we are constantly criticizing ourselves for never being good enough. I do think self-motivation is the only way to be who you want, but I think there is a line. A healthy balance between calorie in/calorie out.....between too many apples/too much chocolate....between work/play.....between self/others.

Balance. And all starts with taking care of yourself. Find ways to appreciate the day and find honest truths in your life. Two days ago, I bought a body+soul magazine from Whole Foods. I can't really afford extra splurges like this right now, but I am devouring and savoring each article, and it brings me back to who I want to be. Yesterday, I went to the gym, twice. And didn't think once about the commute being boring or what the staff who I might see twice would think (for the record, the first trip was a slow heavy lift and the second was a circuit training class) I loved it, because I did it for me.

Today, I'm going to name five things I really love about my body:

1. I love my eyes, with and without make-up.
2. I have killer scapula that make my back look ripped
3. I did not inherit the family cankels
4. I love how strong my muslces are, and how I deadlifted 205 pounds yesterday
5. And, I have killer hair. Naturally blonde with strawberry blonde highlights.

What can you celebrate today? What do you love about your body, your life?

Go ahead. You're definitely not being conceited. Don't you see, that's the problem! People tell us women that we can't have five things we love about our bodies. That instead we need to lose five pounds.

Shout it out sister! You're beautiful!

My First Wedding Nightmare

Yup. Last night. I'm still tired from spinning in circles the entire dream. We've been faced with our first stressful engagement decision, and have been struggling with it for the last week.

Basically, in my dream my mom, my future mother-in-law, and my Matt had decided that the wedding process would be so much easier if they planned it all, and let me just experience it....not a bad idea....anyway. I had agreed, and thought since I already had my dress, they could do anything else they wanted.

Well, the wedding day came and nothing was planned. They all thought just 'swinging-it' would be fun! I freaked out and became a hysterical bride-zilla, rampaging Macy's for perfume, shoes and a suit for Matt...stealing flowers from the farmers market only to run away while the flowers fell apart....running into whole foods only to discover they were putting away the flowers for the night and nothing but aloe vera was left for me to make arrangements....crying and hitting my Matt because he was wearing blue jeans and a tucked in button down shirt....can't you at least wear a tie! who told you that looked good! who tucks in a button down shirt into blue jeans! I screamed. woah. wake-up. please.

So deep down I might be a control freak. Well, maybe it's not that deep down. And maybe my parents told me I need to elope so I don't have a major melt down on our wedding day out of 'production stress' And maybe they are right.

So, keeping in mind that we want to spend as little as possible on our wedding, and keeping in mind that our(my) family is H-U-G-E, I've come up with an idea. And one that might just make everyone happy.

So here it is:

We have our wedding ceremony and reception here on the East Coast, at the very place I've always envisioned us getting married. A beautiful garden on a historic home site. We have 30 or fewer guests and a beautifully catered plated dinner on a long table on a separate part of the grounds. Not sure what we'd do after...but maybe nothing...maybe we'd just have a later ceremony and a slow food dinner that lasted until 10:00.

We'd spend lots of one on one time with our family and (hopefully) have a hell of a lot less stress than entertaining 100+ people .

then:

A few weeks later, we'd travel to my home in the midwest and have the barn dance we were thinking of having, with all of our family invited, with light food, pie and kegged beer (made by our dear friend). It would be a party, and I could spend all day getting the barn ready without worrying about the production of a 'wedding day'. We'd still hire the Irish Fiddle Band, and have a casual fun party where everyone is invited!

I think it could work! What do you think?

Slow Food

I'm all for the slow food movement. Maybe it's because my family ate dinner together every night, at a table, with real food. Or, maybe it's because I have a lot of fun eating and socializing. Either way, It's a good thing.



Matt and I had some friends over for a nice, autumn evening meal the other night and it was so nice. He's in grad school, so can fortunately spend an afternoon at home reading and writing while cooking a meal. He made Beef Daube Provencal, which is a heavenly beef stew, french style. We made a simple salad with greens, goat cheese and sliced cherry tomatoes. Our second course was the Daube over a slice of peasant bread, and to finish it off, we had an apple cinnamon carrot crumb cake. h-e-a-v-e-n.

We love cooking together, but often just scavenge the cupboards and fridge to make an odd combination we sometimes call dinner. (well, we've got some pickles and ham, let's make some ham pickle rolls...way better than it sounds if you've never tried it.....oh yeah, and some sourdough? Let's have buttered toast...oh yeah, and an apple for dessert.) We love eating, but sometimes we don't give it much thought.

Having our nice slow food dinner with our friends, at our dining room table (versus the kitchen island) with the table set, centerpieces and all, made me realize that we don't do that enough. Yes, it's a lot of work, but I found myself holding out in the afternoon, waiting for our nice dinner.



So that's when I came up with the idea of the slow food challenge! Here's how it works:

For one week, I will eat each and every meal (and snack) at a table. No sipping tea at my computer. No grabbing a fiber bar on the way to the gym, and certainly no eating dinner on the couch while watching the office. AND each night, Matt and I will eat at our dining room table, with the table set before the meal, as simple as it may be, and eat. together.

This might just be the best way to break my plateau. :)

Wedding Decisions

So my fiancee and I are between a rock and a hard place.

We've been engaged for about two months, and that engagement buzz is slowly fading into a small hangover. One that is fixed with some ibuprofen, but still.

Here's our dilemma. We don't know what we want. Or rather, I don't know what I want for a wedding, and he is happy with most anything.

Option number one:

We have a large wedding (150 invited, 90 of them being family) on my parents land in the Midwest, where most of them live. We do the whole beautiful DIY/wedding blog inspired ordeal complete with a ceremony in a meadow by a field, a picnic reception with homemade blankets and a barn dance with an Irish fiddle band.

It would be beautiful, but since the vendor options are very limited in the area they live, and since I am an artist, we would do most of the wedding ourselves and it would definitely be a stressful production.

Option number two:

We have a very small wedding (30 people or less) of just our parents, grandparents, siblings and best friends here on the East Coast where we currently live. We would have a garden ceremony and very nice catered french dinner on a long table in a field.

It would also be beautiful, and we'd get to use better vendors because we have a much smaller guest list and the resources are better out here. We'd also have much less stress because we would share our day with less people. We also might be letting some people down with this.

What to do! We are stuck. Both options have their downsides. And both have their ups.

Either way, I need to focus on how my body looks, so at least that's non-negotiable. And, if we went with the second option, I'd have many more wedding related gatherings to also look smashing - - - hence ALWAYS keeping my goal in mind and not letting it slip away!

What do you think? What has been important in your planning process? If you're already married, was it worth it to put forth the 'traditional' large wedding plans to make the twelve hours you call your wedding day?

Healthy Snacks

Want to know a secret?

Snacking will make or break you.

Truly. In my experience, eating outside of a meal will either be the best thing (if planned ahead) or the worst thing (if left up to your taste buds.)

We need snacks to keep our blood sugar and metabolism steady. But we don't need snacks that will spike our insulin levels and then leave us unsatisfied digging around for anything else that goes down easy.

Plan of attack : know your snack of the day. Pack it away in the morning when you have breakfast in a lunch box (if you're off to work) or a brown paper bag that will sit in your fridge if needed, or a corner of your kitchen.

When that urge for food strikes take your snack away from the kitchen, grab a big glass of water and ENJOY it!

Here are some ideas for healthy snacks!

a soft boiled egg with toast.

- bring water to a boil - once rolling gently place a raw egg into the water with a spoon - set timer for seven minutes -drain hot water and run cold water over egg(s) when ready to enjoy, place egg in a egg holder as above, or take a narrow drinking glass and place a sturdy paper towel over the top and place a rubber band around the top of the glass. Place egg in like you would an egg holder. -toast one piece of bread and cut into strips -crack shell off of top half and dip bread into soft yolk.

frozen blueberries with a small handful of almonds

You'll need to make sure the blueberries can stay frozen, but this is a very tasty alternative to regular blueberries. For some reason, the blueberries don't freeze all the way though, so they are very easy to eat. You may need to use a spoon however. They tend to turn fingers and lips purple.

a banana with almond butter

This is a very easy snack that will satisfy you in a big way because of the fat in both the nut butter and the banana. Cut the banana up into small slices (like the ones that go on breakfast cereal) and make sure you don't overdose on the almond butter!

hummus with carrots

I am not afficliated with Trader Joe's in the least, but I love love love their white bean and basil hummus. It's very low calorie and tastes great. I especially love it on green top carrots. Perfect if you love crunchy salty snacks (like chips!) for a lot less guilt.

What are your healthy snack ideas ?

the dress

so here's another confession. my mom and I started dress shopping far before I got engaged. Well, only a few months before I got engaged but still. I am so excited about my dress but am waiting to choose it until closer to the wedding date, or maybe it's hanging in my closet already. Not telling.

One of the most exciting things about weight loss is that all of the clothes you already owned now look like new clothes because of the way they fit now. There are a few that won't work anymore, but some of them just look better on than they used to, so it's like getting an entirely new wardrobe.

so here's my tip of the day:

don't fuss over a gown that is super expensive (unless of course it's completely in your budget and it's just 'the one') because your body is what will make the dress look good. Spend your money and/or time worrying about wedding attire in the gym, out for hikes with your fiancee, or planning your weekly meals. It will be SO much more worth it long term than a dress you only wear once. If your body looks good, the dress will be smashing, darling.

Plateaus and Scales

Have you ever experienced weight loss?

If you have, you know the joys and frustrations that come with watching that scale.

oh yeah, and I don't weigh 126.4. My goal is 125 and today I'm 13 pounds away from that goal. you do the math.

I go back and forth with my relationship to using a scale. Some experts say every day, some say never. I once read that people who check on a regular basis tend to make better choices about what they eat because they have a visual check up on how they are doing. I tend to use this as my motto and if I weigh in on any particular day, it's always in the morning after I've gone to the bathroom. If I drink water or eat something, I don't weigh myself because the numbers start changing once calories are going in or out of your body. This tends to work pretty well, but one has to guard themselves againt two things:

1. Letting the number determine the kind of day you have. (Yes! I'm two pounds under what I normally am, I can have that extra cookie! or the all too familiar Crap. I'm a pound up from what I normally am. I may as well not eat today and just eat this afternoon when I can't stand it anymore.) You have to let the number act only as point of reference. Committing to weight loss if a mental game, and it will work without a scale. Every day, every choice, has to come back to that focus. Don't let a number alter your day.

2. Plateaus. Oh my. If you've ever gone on a weight loss journey, you know what this is. For those of you who have not, it basically means you've been sucessful losing weight for a period of time, and then you stay at the same weight for four weeks or more, while continuing to eat the same as you were while losing. I'm in the middle of a plateau right now. I've been pushing the same number (give or take one pound) for five weeks. Gulp. My eating habits have stayed the same (probably about a B+) but my workouts have been fading.

When you begin to lose weight, or are experiencing a plateau, and are incorporating more weight bearing exercise, your body feels like you are loosing, but you stay the same number. The reason this happens is that you are losing a little weight, but you are also gaining muscle, which weighs the same as fat (but you look a lot leaner), so you're canceling out numbers.

Eventually the muscles will burn more calories at rest and during activity that will burn more calories resulting in a higher weight loss. But it doesn't happen overnight. So in the meanwhile, you must stick with your goal in mind.

some circuit training. wayyyyy more effective than an elliptical. trust me

Set your compass to the north star and don't let anything change it.